Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Super Powers are Overrated (But I Still Want Them)

December is proving to be exactly what it usually is-- terribly over scheduled. The ice storm here didn't help matters and a few of my sweet pickles' events were stacked on top of each other so the choosing had to begin.
This used to torture me. "Which child do I let down? Which child will feel unloved? Which child will I be MISSING out on?"
Have I mentioned my kids are 16, 17 and 21?
Nevertheless, I have HIGH expectations for myself that fall just short of being able to beam myself to all events seconds before they begin and actually BE the hero everyone (and by everyone I mean me and my Grandmother) believes me to be.

It never occurs to me, however, that no one else happens to share in my torture.

For example:

After hearing the sweet pickle girl sing at Heritage Village, the little sweet pickles decide not to attend the annual Ginger Fest with me. I am hopeful they will show up later, so I lick my hero wounds, buy the hugest bag of kettle corn known to man and head toward the parking lot. I don't even FEEL like crying, so I know my superpowers are working. And just to amp up the power, I stop to share my popcorn with a stranger, because sharing with strangers makes me feel less alone in the world.

"Whew, I can do this, 'holidays will never be the same' thing. I got this."  

But as I near my car I spy the little sweet pickles and their friends waiting around the girl pickles' car.
"What's up?" I ask all cool, trying not to choke on kettle corn.
"Her keys are in choirboy's pocket and he's still inside. She just wants to change," says a choirgirl.

Then, I hear, in the snarkiest tone,  "Oh, here comes MOM to save the day, as usual." With an eye roll, scowl combo that would make Judge Judy proud.  I will not say which of my sweet baby pickles uttered this, but all I can think is:  My own people, resenting my superpowers. 

I shove more popcorn in mouth, open the door and remind them that Ginger Fest will be going on for awhile, and I hope to see them there.
Still no tears. Superpowers in tact.
I kill a little time driving around South Dallas, trying to find another building to fall in love with, so I can dream about my own future and not be so uh . . . tied up,  I mean . . . tied to, oh . . . alright, strangled holding onto theirs.

Then I make my way to Deep Ellum and Ginger Land.  BY MYSELF.
I am greeted by friends, adorable children, the smell of apple cider and mountains of candy.
I'm gonna be fine, I reassure myself. And I would have been fine, if it hadn't been for that dagblame Mariah Carey and her "Baby, Please Come Home" song  to send me right over the EDGE. Tears in my icing and on my red vine fence. One thing, I mean, one thing will go my way today!!!!

Luckily, I was surrounded by Hershey's Kisses and M&M's, so I just shoved some in my mouth, licked the icing off my hand, identified with Jesus about how often I don't do what he wants and soldiered on.

Here's my casa de ginger to prove it.

Before Rich made me some bonfire smoke.

After Rich made me some bonfire smoke:)

Tuesday, December 3, 2013

Monday's Much Needed Song of the Day: Is MISSING along with my TREE.

Has anyone seen this tree?

Saturday, I pulled out Christmas decorations in an attempt to get into the holiday spirit. Last year we decided that since we are in such a confined space and one of my little pickles is semi-allergic, to buy an artificial one.
This year, it is nowhere to be found. How do you lose a Christmas tree?
I soldiered on. Reminisced with some of the kids hand-made decorations,
I thought putting some Christmas tunes on, might help lift the mood, but when I opened my Brenda Lee CD case, it was empty. And then to make matters worse, my Sufjan Steven's Christmas Box Set-- also empty.
What should have been an afternoon of decorating turned into and afternoon of me pouring through cabinets and all our CD's and empty cases.
I know, most of you are thinking I should have these on my computer or in my iTunes, but I have had computer woes this last year and not everything was backed up.
I finally found Brenda and two of Sufjan's, but by that time, the afternoon was GONE!
Just like my CD's and tree.
But there will be no blue Christmas for me.
I am now on the search for a perfect and inexpensive tree! Adventure!