Monday's Much Needed Song of the Day: Safe on the Outside, Telegraph Canyon

For all my loves. Especially my children. I can't believe I only have you for just a little while longer. It goes so fast. I didn't know how far outside of me you'd go. But it's okay. Go.
XO

Advice for T. O.

Get to a church.  Fast. Find one full of Church Momma's that will love you up one side and down the other. It's imperative. You know.
Take many deep breaths and run.
Don't harm yourself.
Know that God loves you. No matter WHAT!
Don't harm yourself.
Remember what you love to do. Play football.
Don't harm yourself.
Know there are people praying for you and your dramatic self.
Play football. Anywhere.
Remember, there is more to life than football.
And God not only loves you. He delights in you.
Be good. Be whole. Stay Strong.

Monday's Much Needed Song of the Day:The Cave

The Peace Prayer of Saint Francis "O Lord, make me an instrument of Thy Peace! Where there is hatred, let me sow love. Where there is injury, pardon. Where there is discord, harmony. Where there is doubt, faith. Where there is despair, hope. Where there is darkness, light. Where there is sorrow, joy. Oh Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console; to be understood as to understand; to be loved as to love; for it is in giving that we receive; it is in pardoning that we are pardoned; and it is in dying that we are born to Eternal Life."

God Doesn't Care About Football

But he does care about football players. I know, I know, the Rangers are in the heat of a competition and I am most definitely rooting for them. I am 9/10ths as happy when they win and not nearly as sad when they lose compared to the Cowboys. Thank God! The Rangers play a lot more games;)
I blame my mother. My mother, who texted some choice words about her boy, Romo, last game. Basically calling him what he was and telling him what he could do. It was disturbing and hilarious at the same time.
That being said, after a game like he had against Detroit, I often wonder what God is teaching him, and if he is listening. I wonder if I were Mr. Garrett if I would have let him go down like that. Here you have a guy playing injured, who at half time has his team up 23 points. Then he starts tanking. He throws one interception. Then another. How about we focus on running. how about we give him a rest, and then maybe let him come back in the last half of the fourth quarter? Some people say a team is only as good as their quarterback, but I say, a team is only as good as their TEAM.
What are those back ups like and are they BEING COACHED? Are you putting all your eggs in  a basket with some obvious holes in the weave? I'm no expert at coaching football, it's true.
And I am VERY sick of the hard core choke for which Romo is becoming famous. SO much so, that I am threatening to put Heimlich on the back of my next jersey. (Basically, whoever can perform it, is my favorite player.) But still, it felt like the last game could have been saved with some better decision making on the sidelines.
This Sunday, we face the Patriots, Rob Ryan's old team, which could be to our benefit. Romo practiced sans restrictions this week and Miles will be back on the field.
Still, I wonder, when things are so erratic for a player -one week, on top of the world, and the next week, uhm, not-(I couldn't even watch Romo speak to reporters afterwards he looked so down trodden, and I am not a pink, Romo Jersey wearing, kinda chic.) I wonder how they survive as spiritual beings and  I pray for them to be healed in all ways, physically and emotionally. Doing this makes it much easier to be a fan even when we are losing. That being said, I hope our boys are inspired by our other boys who rocked the state last night! I'm hoping for two awesome games in one weekend!

What you got?

Skinny days here mean skimming off what we got and making a meal. Gleaning what's already been gleaned, you feel me.

Leftover chicken and some canned veggies Chris Grandmother sent home, some home mage gravy juice and enough stuff to make a RING Family, flaky pie crust, well almost enough. I substituted margarita salt in the crust and had to use a strainer that couldn't sift Satan outta Heaven, but we made do. And still et' good.

Mondays Much Needed Song of the Day: These Foolish Things- Billie Holiday

I like trinkets. They hold things for me. My mind is often too full. My heart overflowing.

The Reluctant No Home-School Momma, Part 4: Toot-a-ledge

My kids rallied against my pouting at the end of last year and re attending school outside the home this year. Mainly because Chris decided we needed two incomes, and quite honestly, I think he wants more of my attention. (Which isn't gonna happen if I get a job, because I tend to disappear when I am overloaded. But hey, he'll figure that out AGAIN in a couple of months when I've engulfed myself into some new endeavor.)
We found a school for Caleb and Chloe that holds classes four hours a day, four days a week and it happens to be walking distance from where we moved. AMAZING.
Chaz went back to Notre Dame for the Vocational Program and already has a job at a law firm, stocking the drink stations and will be volunteering at Camp Summit as an assistant counselor in November! He calls me five times a day still, but he's so cheerful and full of confidence most of the time, well, except for the recent face plant into the air vent which garnered him a touchdown and two stitches, I look forward to hearing about his day.

Handsome, huh?

I did not know how quickly I would have to get un-afaraid about Chaz's new life without me.
I did know, that it was time. No matter how many nightmares I had, I sucked it up and let him stand by the busy street to wait for the Dart Handi-Ride, BY HIMSELF and go to work a zillion miles in the air and only asked once who was responsible for making sure her gets evacuated in an emergency.

I did not know how much I would miss my two little kids the whole 16 hours they are away at school.
I did know I was in need of help with higher maths and sciences.

I didn't know how long homework would take them-forever. ( I still get to help a LOT!)
I did know they would work harder for someone who isn't their mom.

I did know they would make new friends.
I didn't know they would be of the opposite sex and they all might want to hang out somewhere public, without me, or any adult. (I don't know how I didn't know that. Straight up denial, I guess.)

I didn't know how much I'd enjoy making cookies and veggie trays and hot pastrami and cheeses and sweet tea right when they came home for lunch.

Algebra Cookies!

I do know that I am already mourning this part of the day, when they come home at noon with the stories of the moment and I sit on the other side of the counter, shove food towards them and listen. They still WANT to talk to me. Yay!

I know, I know. Everything changes. But changes are coming so fast lately my face is starting to twitch  . . . . .again;) I am working hard to make my heart not beat so fast so I can still hear God whisper in my ear: Don't give up, It will be okay, I"M the rescuer, Be present, GO TO SLEEP!

Mondays Much Needed Song of the Day: Windows are Rolled Down by Amos Lee

Heard this on a bad day and even though I'd heard it before, I didn't it love it 'til the moment I pulled up to the doctor to get Chaz's stitches out.

To Make a Long Story Long.

I had planned on going into deep dark depths about our trip through the Southwest, into California, and up to the Redwoods, however, upon our return, I came down with shingles. Yes, I know. I am not over fifty, but apparently, a bad sunburn and a few days of hard core stress put me on the roster to receive a vengeful version of the pox de pollo, and I was majorly lowdown for four weeks.
While all the while pretending to not be too ill, and avoiding all the squishy babies at church lest they get the pox and not the shingles (this virus is complicated) I had time to contemplate my life and get a bit too sad about our state of affairs: no house, no money, not much of nothing.
So, when I recovered, to cheer myself up, I applied for a job at The Fatted Calf in Rockwall. My first waitressing job:) The food was great. The people SUPER NICE and the tips were starting to pick up. BUT three days in, I turned to get help figuring out my till, when I slipped on a wet floor, and fell to the right, bashing my head and ear on a door jamb, and then over corrected to the left, slamming my left elbow and knee into the wall and floor. I laughed until I saw blood. I stood up and almost threw up. Honestly, five weeks later, I am still limping. Needless to say, I quit the job, and too soon, because they would have paid for me to see a doctor. I just blew it off because these forty year old bones are new to me in a way. They used to heal MUCH faster, but then again, I used to be a bit more agile.
I didn't quit just because of the fall, but also because, Chris answered an ad on Craigslist about bartering his  cleaning service for a free apartment in Lakewood and BAM we moved.  (This apartment happened to be five addresses down from where the kids were already enrolled in school and one address over from this property I have been lusticating after.)
The apartment is super nice and the courtyards are gorgeous, and we are appreciating it all.

We moved too far away from Rockwall for the drive to make sense, but, in reality, I wouldn't have been able to work for three weeks anyway. I didn't know it took so much time for old bones too heal.
I am looking into supplements.
I hopped up the stairs two at a time this week and did a Rocky dance at the top. SO right now I am just being grateful for working knees and working disposals and trash finds and friends who give us furniture  and help us move stuff and and cool kids and a sweet husband and a God

who blesses me, even when I am a whiny brat.