I am not technically on the Atkins diet, because. well, I can't stay on a diet. But years ago I joined with some friends at work to see who could lose the most weight. Within, the first six weeks, I went from 162 lbs. to 148 lbs. and I didn't even do it right.
I was amazed.
Not just at the weight loss, but at the extent of my addiction to carbs. I usually ate carbs early in the morning-cereal, bagels, yogurts, fruit etc. But by nine, also known as first period as I was teaching middle school at the time, I was gnawing my hand off, forcing myself to wait until second period for the granola bar in my desk drawer and then running over students at 11:25 to get to the lunch waiting for me in the teacher's lounge fridge.
When we went on the diet, I realized how much more hungry I WASN'T and how my day stopped revolving around snack time. The two year old inside me had matured, although I can still always use a nap.
Today I was reminded of this. I still don't eat a lot of carbs, but I don't keep track either. If I want cheesecake, I eat it, If I want rice and beans and tortillas, I eat them, but this usually happens in the afternoon or evening. I like a big bowl of cereal before bed, too.
Today, however, I ate a bowl of cereal for breakfast. Okay, so it probably added up to three servings and 600 grams of carbs or something, but I love frosted shredded wheat.
By noon, I was dizzy, confused and my hands were shaking to high heaven and I was trying to figure out why.
I was CRASHING.
I found myself in the middle of the kitchen starting to organize the tupperware, warm up food for lunch, pour myself a soda, load the dishes, but not finishing anything.
I was trying hard to not feel like a junkie and open the fridge and devour the last half of the peppermint ice cream I'd been saving for my kids, so instead I grabbed an apple, a huge chunk of cheese and made myself sit down and take deep breaths. I am not exaggerating.
Eventually my hands stopped shaking and I could see straight and I felt human again. This used to happen to me all the time when I was pregnant or nursing and is why Chris' modus operandi for dealing with my cranky behavior is food-good food, lots of it. That is what clued me in to the fact that I am majorly affected by food and that somehow, what and how I eat, affects my sanity.
This time of year doesn't lend itself to sanity, but I have managed to listen to a zillion Christmas carols and still not buy one gift. The parties, though, the parties with the sugar-filled treats and fun friends and wine and music. Oh, well. Maybe sometime around January 3rd, my eyes will stop spinning and my heart will stop racing and I'll take a nap and be back to "normal."